


Nothing else matters

by mirzimonstein



Category: Everlark - Fandom, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies), mockingjay - Fandom
Genre: F/M, nonhijacked!peeta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-02
Updated: 2014-12-02
Packaged: 2018-02-27 20:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2705894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirzimonstein/pseuds/mirzimonstein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My version of nonhijacked!Peeta and Katniss reunion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing else matters

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my version of what happens. I have read lots of this fics and they're awesome so i wanted to give it a go.  
> Please consider I'm not a native english speaker, and i proofreaded this like three thousand times, but if it still has typos then i'm very sorry but it's kinda hard writing in another language and i tried my best.

_“Running down corridors through_

_automatic doors_

_'got to get to you_

_'got to see this through”_

* * *

 

“They're back”

 

I freeze and set on fire at the same time.

 

I have been dreaming of this day lately.

 

No, they were not dreams. Nightmares. Night _terrors_. His strong hands are on my neck in every single one of them, and I haven't told anyone, but Prim has heard my screames and seen my tears every single time. He breaks a glass with my head as he easily sways me around, carrying my whole weight only on his hands as he presses his thumbs to my throat, blocking the air, driven by such rage, like a wild Capitol mutt. My head bleeds when he slams me to the floor but I swear it doesn't hurt as much as the hate in the eyes of the boy with the bread. He hates me. He wants to kill me with his bare hands. My body shivers on the mere thought of it, something tells me that it can happen. Maybe it will, and I will die today.

 

I don't fucking care.

 

It would be for the best.

* * *

 

The automatic door opens before me and I sigh out his name on my way to his room without even noticing. I sigh out his name one and over and over again. He is here. Alive.

 

_Peeta._

 

In one second I feel my throat shut until almost closing, remembering the nightmares, but I still manage to call him one more time. “ _Peeta”_ His name slides from my dry tongue as a shaking prayer. And he's sitting in the bed facing in the opposite direction so I just see his back and his blonde hair; but he feels me, I know it because his neck tenses and he rises up his head slowly.

 

What do I do?. I thought he was dead so what do I do now?, what is the next step?, I was not prepared for this. I don't know what to say, which is not a new feeling, except that this time I really _want_ to say the correct thing, I want my mind to find it, the perfect combination of words to tell the boy who was taken away from me that I meant what I said on the beach. I need him. I almost went insane without him.

 

Oh, fuck it. Fuck everything. Fuck my brain, my trauma, fuck the people that is looking. I just want to see him. His face. He is alive.

 

Somehow I walk around his bed until I am in front if him. Everyone is looking at me, waiting, thinking. I can almost listen to their hearbeats, everything is so silent.

 

“Peeta” I whisper, and he closes his eyes at the sound of my voice, but doesn't do anything to respond.

 

I find myself kind of expecting him to strange me to death by now, but he doesn't. He doesn't do anything actually -nothing but stare at the floor-, which scares me, shouldn't he react somehow?

 

I don't understand what my body is doing, I thought I would hug him, kiss him even. I thought that when and _if_ I saw him again, I would squeeze him breathless and never let him go again.

 

Instead, my knees give in at the sight of him and they hit the floor loudly, for I see the horrors all over his thin body. And it hits me right on the face that this is all my fault.

 

“I'm so sorry” I mutter, and then I repeat it, feeling a fresh wave of painful emotions crawling inside my skin. I repeat it three times and then four. He doesn't say anything. My Peeta. So silent. “I'm so sorry, Peeta, I am... so... sorry” Again and again, as tears fall down my face and die on the floor.

 

I can't breathe, but I keep saying it between sobs. I can't look at him anymore, I don't deserve it, so I look at the white tiles underneath me, between my hands and repeat. I'm sorry. It's should have been me. I'm _so_ sorry. I'm sorry, Peeta, I'm so sorry, Peeta, I'm sorry, Peeta, Peeta, I truly am. I have never been more sorry... about anything... in my life.

 

“Let's give them a second” Someone says in a voice full of pity and sadness. I know now that I'm not the only one who's crying, but it doesn't make me feel any better.

 

I stop saying sorrys after the words lose meaning in my head, but I don't stop crying.

 

“I don't blame you” Are the first words he says to me. And they are lies.

 

I breathe in and breathe out twice. “Liar” I say and then repeat “Liar”

 

“It's not a lie”

 

“It is”

 

“No it's not.” He whispers now, his voice breaking lightly.

 

I gather up my courage and decide I have to look at him. I have to. So I do. And I see he is crying now, too.

 

“You saved me.” He says, staring at his shaking hands “You kept me... sane in the middle of...” But he stops himself and, selfishly, I'm glad he does. I don't wanna hear it, I wouldn't survive.

 

“It should have been me” I mutter as I stand up, finally. His eyes find me now, and they lock themselves with mine as if he's trying to tell me something that I never learned how to read “I'm so-”

 

“Stop apologizing”

 

“I'm sorry--”

 

“Stop”

 

“I am--”

 

“Katniss!” He cries, standing up and crushing his body deeply into mine, his arms shaking around me.

 

“Peeta” I whisper, hugging him back with everything I have. My Peeta. My boy with the bread. I can feel him now, and it's not a dream. Real. I hide my face in the crook of his neck as if it was designed for me and my body lets out a breath that I might have been holding since the very moment Haymitch told me Peeta was in the Capitol.

 

And we cry, and we shake, but we don't let go.

 

“I thought you were dead!” I scream into his chest “I though I would never see you ever again, I thought... I thought--”

 

“God, I missed you so much” He sighs into my ear as his hands caress my hair oh so carefully that I think I'm going to melt into his touch “I just hope you would've never have to see me like this” I press my hands against his chest and breake the embrace slowly after hearing his words, i just can't _believe_ what I just heard. And I see it in his face now, he's actually and genuinely embarrased. He is ashamed of his actual physical state and I swear to God it takes every bit of strenght in me not to slap him right across the face.

 

“Is that why you wouldn't look at me when I first got here?” I ask, and his eyes on the floor give me the answer “Oh Peeta” I breathe as I take his bony face in both my hands, forcing him to look at me.

 

This is it, I have to tell him now that this is the happiest I have been in months, probably _years_.

 

I just have to go ahead and tell him he's one of the most beautiful things to ever lay a finger in my life. A beacon of light, guiding me through the darkness.

 

How do I tell him that I'm gonna nurse him back to life with my bare hands if I have to?

 

How do I make him understand?

 

I take a deep breathe and just let it out in words

 

“I love you” I wish I could say so much more, but in this mess of emotions that's probably the best I can do. I caress his cheekbones with my thumbs. His eyebrows go up slightly at the confession, and his eyes go wide for just a second, but then he frowns and removes my hands from his face, taking one step back

 

“W-we're not on the games anymore, Katniss, you don't have to lie to me out of simpathy.” He blurts

 

“I'm not lying” And I am not.

 

“Right.”

 

“I'm not!” I snap “ _I am not_!” I yell again, feeling hot tears fall from my face “You know it. You know when I am lying. You knew it before I did...” He's not frowning anymore, he's staring at me, as if trying to believe me, trying really hard to find the lie in my words, but he can't, i know he can't, because there aren't any. “Don't you see?” I cry, hoping that, finally, my words get to him.

 

“Oh yes, I do” He sighs. And then his lips crush into mine for the first time since the Quell. I feel the hunger again, that hunger I felt at the beach but a hundred times amplified, as his lips claim my lips violently, as my back hits the wall behind me, I feel it. Life. His hands find my neck and mine find his hair, and when his tonge and mine taste eachother's tears I actually give myself permission to moan into the kiss, feeling like i don't want to leave this moment for as long as I live “I love you so much, Katniss” He breathes, and then claims my mouth again, pressing me delightfully against the wall.

 

His hands are in my hair by the moment we part -which is several minutes after we started- and, when I open my eyes, I see he's actually smiling. My tortured boy is smiling, so I smile too. This tears in my face are ones of happyness.

 

“Peeta”

 

“Katniss”

 

“I love you”

 

“I love you”

 

And nothing else matters.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i know it's really short, but please comment!  
> The song on the beggining is "Wires" by Athlete, which always makes me think of this Everlark reunion.  
> ps: the final dialoge i took it from the library scene in Atonement, i just love that movie too much. and there's a line in this story that i took from my Glee otp. let me know if you find it :)


End file.
